Raw

A friend once commented on hearing a heated discourse of another couple... "they are so raw." Raw. Real. No walls.

For me, Lamentations was an example of true devotion and trust of God. I was spellbound at Jeremiah's heavy heart for his people.... in spite of the 40 years of torment they gave him back. This is seeing with God's eyes, having God's heart. And my jaw dropped open at Jeremiah's RAW words to God in the midst of his pain... a pain so deep at the torment and futility of his mission.

3.5 - He has besieged me and surrounded me wit hbitterness and hardship.

3.10 - Like a bear lying in wait, like a lion in hiding, he dragged me from the path and mangled me and left me without help.

3.14 - I became the laghingstock of all my people; they mock me in song all day long

3.16 - He has broken my teeth with gravel; he has trampled me in the dust

I picture this beating, this gang lying in wait and tormenting a poor innocent victim. To say God did this. To be so honest with his feeling. To have complete and full trust that God is for him and that God is big enough to handle his hurt and frustration. Do I really trust God enough to be so deeply honest when I am wounded and hurting and don't understand what He is working out in my life?

Yet Jeremiah, in an opposite but just as huge display of the depth of his trust says.... 3.21-26

Yet this I call to mind

and therefore have hope:

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion;

therefore I will wait for him."

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,

to the one who seeks him;

it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

Do I have that much trust? That much HOPE? That though my life be filled with bitter turmoil, I can rejoice in knowing God has a plan that is good, even if I can't see it?

C.S. Lewis said it this way... "We are not, necessarily, doubting that God will do th best for us; we are wondering how painful th best will turn out to be."

Can I really say that I am devoted and trusting God so raw and real that I trust my pain to him, that he fully has control no matter what that may look like? I am challenged by this. Sure, send me to this town or that. But do I trust him with my kids? My husbands safety on the road.. that if something happens God will always be working out his best for me? That my full reward and peace will be in heaven and nothing, not even chocolate cake!, on this earth can compare to the glory of heaven? Do I trust him with my fears, let alone as Jeremiah did with his raw and real anger, trusting that God is big enough, loves more than enough, and wants REAL more than anything else. And that as I put my hope in Him, great is His faithfulness.